Thursday, February 26, 2004
After 20 years on the job, I.T. worker decides to talk like the rest of us
Champagne corks have been popping across South Dakota after a long-serving I.T worker announced he would start talking in a language that the rest of his friends and family understand.
Bob Begley, who works as an I.T. Help Desk Administrator for a mid-size pet insurance company, made the shock announcement to stunned colleagues on Friday. The illegible Information Technology specialist took the decision after his wife gave birth to their first child on Thursday.
Bob’s wife, June Begley, said: “I’m so proud of Bob for taking this brave decision. For the last 20 years he’s been speaking in a language that none of us understood. It’s all been techno speak and, to be quite honest, it made married life difficult because I couldn’t tell you the first thing about computers.
"I really can't describe how bad it was. Maybe I should have guessed something wasn't right when Bob proposed to me by saying 'I'd like to give you the username and password to my network. If you accept, I will consider giving you administrator priveliges'. That just set the scene for a marriage that was completely void of conversation, communication and understanding.
“But suddenly everything changed when I went into labor on Thursday. I gave birth to little Bob Jnr and as I was cradling our newborn son in my arms, Bob asked the doctor if he’d be taking little Bob Jnr for a ‘comprehensive system virus scan’. The doctor mumbled something about being a ‘prick’ under his breath, and that’s when it dawned on Bob that for best part of his life he’s been unable to communicate properly with anyone who doesn’t understand computers.”
After the arrival of his new son, Bob immediately promised his wife that he would no longer use the words “I.P address”, “Network Communication Protocol” or “DLL System File” in the immediate aftermath of sex. He also made a pledge to start embracing the many thousands of everyday nouns, verbs and adjectives that ordinary Americans consistently use in conversation.
Recalling a catalogue of past horrors, June revealed some of the low points in her marriage were when Bob:
Told a bemused doctor that McAfee or Norton, not Alexander Fleming, invented penicillin
Insisted that an epileptic boy in the middle of a seizure needed to simply be “re-booted”, rather than take his vital prescription medication
Dressed up his laptop like a Japanese Geisha Girl and took it on weekend excursions to the movies.
June said: “I keep hearing about how the advancement of computer technology has made our lives so much easier, but for me it’s been a living hell. Probably the worst moment was when Bob decided to abandon the English language completely, and began to simply talk and write using a series of zeros and ones, which I later found out was something called binary code. It really was quite embarrassing at dinner parties when your husband talks like a demented puppet reciting the same two numbers over and over again. People naturally thought he was crazy.”
Co-workers have also expressed their relief at Bob’s decision to jump across to the land of real people. ‘Fat’ Eddie Jaques, who works in pet insurance claims adjustment, said: “Bob’s a great guy but whenever you called that help desk he may as well have been talking in Arabic. Nobody had a goddamn clue what he was talking about. Everything was ‘server’ this, or ‘tcp/ip’ that – it just didn’t make sense to anyone.
“If you asked him for lunch, rather than saying he was hungry….he’d say some bullcrap like ‘Indeed, I think it is time for my scheduled system maintenance’. I’d be like ‘Dude, I only want to know if you wanna grab a sandwich and a cup of coffee.’”
Champagne corks have been popping across South Dakota after a long-serving I.T worker announced he would start talking in a language that the rest of his friends and family understand.
Bob Begley, who works as an I.T. Help Desk Administrator for a mid-size pet insurance company, made the shock announcement to stunned colleagues on Friday. The illegible Information Technology specialist took the decision after his wife gave birth to their first child on Thursday.
Bob’s wife, June Begley, said: “I’m so proud of Bob for taking this brave decision. For the last 20 years he’s been speaking in a language that none of us understood. It’s all been techno speak and, to be quite honest, it made married life difficult because I couldn’t tell you the first thing about computers.
"I really can't describe how bad it was. Maybe I should have guessed something wasn't right when Bob proposed to me by saying 'I'd like to give you the username and password to my network. If you accept, I will consider giving you administrator priveliges'. That just set the scene for a marriage that was completely void of conversation, communication and understanding.
“But suddenly everything changed when I went into labor on Thursday. I gave birth to little Bob Jnr and as I was cradling our newborn son in my arms, Bob asked the doctor if he’d be taking little Bob Jnr for a ‘comprehensive system virus scan’. The doctor mumbled something about being a ‘prick’ under his breath, and that’s when it dawned on Bob that for best part of his life he’s been unable to communicate properly with anyone who doesn’t understand computers.”
After the arrival of his new son, Bob immediately promised his wife that he would no longer use the words “I.P address”, “Network Communication Protocol” or “DLL System File” in the immediate aftermath of sex. He also made a pledge to start embracing the many thousands of everyday nouns, verbs and adjectives that ordinary Americans consistently use in conversation.
Recalling a catalogue of past horrors, June revealed some of the low points in her marriage were when Bob:
June said: “I keep hearing about how the advancement of computer technology has made our lives so much easier, but for me it’s been a living hell. Probably the worst moment was when Bob decided to abandon the English language completely, and began to simply talk and write using a series of zeros and ones, which I later found out was something called binary code. It really was quite embarrassing at dinner parties when your husband talks like a demented puppet reciting the same two numbers over and over again. People naturally thought he was crazy.”
Co-workers have also expressed their relief at Bob’s decision to jump across to the land of real people. ‘Fat’ Eddie Jaques, who works in pet insurance claims adjustment, said: “Bob’s a great guy but whenever you called that help desk he may as well have been talking in Arabic. Nobody had a goddamn clue what he was talking about. Everything was ‘server’ this, or ‘tcp/ip’ that – it just didn’t make sense to anyone.
“If you asked him for lunch, rather than saying he was hungry….he’d say some bullcrap like ‘Indeed, I think it is time for my scheduled system maintenance’. I’d be like ‘Dude, I only want to know if you wanna grab a sandwich and a cup of coffee.’”
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Introducing Geraldine Rivers
War Correspondent for The Hollywood Hermit
For more than six months Geraldine Rivers has been following the war in Iraq. Here is her latest report on how Iraqis are adjusting to a post-Saddam society.
The moon sits warmly in the sky, gently glistening like a giant deep-fried peanut butter cup. The stars hang from invisible cosmic threads and dance across the heavens like Patrick Swayze in his prime. This tiny slice of secret paradise is both intoxication and intriguing. This is Iraq in 2004.
There used to be an old saying in the town of Fajula which was: “If you listen hard enough, every now and then the sound of gunfire will be rudely interrupted by the crash of silence.” That was in the bad old days, when Saddam Hussein’s grip on power was absolute. But those times are history. With Saddam gone, the villagers in Fajula don’t hear the sound of blazing guns anymore. In fact they don’t hear very much of anything, because last week a British Tornado dropped 4000lbs of explosives in the middle of the town and everyone within 500 yards was instantly rendered deaf. But to ordinary Iraqis things like senses….and limbs….aren’t important. They’re now free, and that’s all that matters.
The busy market town of Fajula attracts traders from across the region who spend hours huddled over dusty tables and makeshift booths in an attempt to sell their merchandise. I spoke to Mujad, a trader from out-of-town who described the situation in Iraq in poignant detail.
“Before the Americans came, this wretched market was full of stupid crap like fruit, vegetables and fish,” he told me. “But thanks to the Americans and British, all that has come to an end. Now we’re free to sell guns, rocket launchers, cigarettes and best of all….satellite TV. The traders around here have never had it so good.”
Mujad showed me an assortment of small arms, including a hunting crossbow and a rapid-fire pistol. “We love America. We love the market. We love weapons. Praise be.”
As I prepared to say goodbye to the ecstatic entrepreneur, he pulled me to one side and gestured to a mysterious black box under his table. As he gently opened the box and the hinges groaned open, Mujad pulled out the jewel in his crown. Sitting in front of me were four hedgehog Chia pets.
"These things have been selling like crazy. I’ve only got four of these hedgehog ones left, and I sold my last Rabbit Chia pet yesterday. I’d been hearing for so long about how great the Western market is, and now I know why. The Iraqi people just can’t get enough of Chia. I heard a rumor that somebody had tried to manufacture a range of Chia dictators, which included Hitler, Stalin and Saddam Hussein. But I don’t believe that. They’re probably cheap Iranian counterfeits, not the original American Chia quality.”
Moving through the village, it’s impossible not to be moved by the smattering of derelict houses, which sit like rotten concrete stumps in the dusty earth. This is all that’s left of over 20 years of Saddam’s rule, and after 5 minutes of Allied air attacks.
As I stroll through the village, I find Asif, a small boy of no more than nine or ten. He’s dressed in traditional Iraqi clothing, which consists of a Stars and Stripes bandana, a Union Jack t-shirt and a pair of Nike sneakers.
“We love Britain and America,” he said. “We don’t mind that their planes flew over and destroyed our homes and knocked out our electricity supply. We don’t even care that they killed a few of our friends, because to be honest some of them were old and were probably due to die soon anyway.
“None of this matters to us, because we are free. We have so much freedom we don’t know what to do with it. I don’t eat much these days, but I’m free. Rejoice. I am free.”
Asif grabbed me by the hand and eagerly scampered down the street. With one arm eagerly outstretched, he pointed at a blackened pile of charred brick and stone.
“You see that, that used to be the school. All we ever did there was read and write all day. It was so boring. But two weeks ago one of the American flying missiles hit it and it went “bang”. Now look, it’s destroyed. So rather than read and write all day, me and my friends gamble on cock fights and fire guns at each other. That’s so much more enjoyable than school.”
I say my goodbyes to Asif and make way back to my luxury five star hotel on the edge of Fajula. As I stroll past the armed guard, I can’t help but take one last glance back at the town. Amid the acrid smell of smoke, and gunpowder, and the lingering odor of sweat, one thing stand out more than everything. The smell of freedom. It’s a smell that no liberal air freshener could get rid of, and no socialist stink bomb could sour. And I know deep down that the Iraqi people can smell it too.
Editor’s note: Geraldine Rivers is currently under investigation by this publication after it was revealed that she filed this report from a New Jersey Howard Johnson’s, rather than the besieged town of Fajula. In a related issue, Hollywood Hermit researchers are still trying to find “Fajula” on a map of Iraq.
War Correspondent for The Hollywood Hermit
For more than six months Geraldine Rivers has been following the war in Iraq. Here is her latest report on how Iraqis are adjusting to a post-Saddam society.
The moon sits warmly in the sky, gently glistening like a giant deep-fried peanut butter cup. The stars hang from invisible cosmic threads and dance across the heavens like Patrick Swayze in his prime. This tiny slice of secret paradise is both intoxication and intriguing. This is Iraq in 2004.
There used to be an old saying in the town of Fajula which was: “If you listen hard enough, every now and then the sound of gunfire will be rudely interrupted by the crash of silence.” That was in the bad old days, when Saddam Hussein’s grip on power was absolute. But those times are history. With Saddam gone, the villagers in Fajula don’t hear the sound of blazing guns anymore. In fact they don’t hear very much of anything, because last week a British Tornado dropped 4000lbs of explosives in the middle of the town and everyone within 500 yards was instantly rendered deaf. But to ordinary Iraqis things like senses….and limbs….aren’t important. They’re now free, and that’s all that matters.
The busy market town of Fajula attracts traders from across the region who spend hours huddled over dusty tables and makeshift booths in an attempt to sell their merchandise. I spoke to Mujad, a trader from out-of-town who described the situation in Iraq in poignant detail.
“Before the Americans came, this wretched market was full of stupid crap like fruit, vegetables and fish,” he told me. “But thanks to the Americans and British, all that has come to an end. Now we’re free to sell guns, rocket launchers, cigarettes and best of all….satellite TV. The traders around here have never had it so good.”
Mujad showed me an assortment of small arms, including a hunting crossbow and a rapid-fire pistol. “We love America. We love the market. We love weapons. Praise be.”
As I prepared to say goodbye to the ecstatic entrepreneur, he pulled me to one side and gestured to a mysterious black box under his table. As he gently opened the box and the hinges groaned open, Mujad pulled out the jewel in his crown. Sitting in front of me were four hedgehog Chia pets.
"These things have been selling like crazy. I’ve only got four of these hedgehog ones left, and I sold my last Rabbit Chia pet yesterday. I’d been hearing for so long about how great the Western market is, and now I know why. The Iraqi people just can’t get enough of Chia. I heard a rumor that somebody had tried to manufacture a range of Chia dictators, which included Hitler, Stalin and Saddam Hussein. But I don’t believe that. They’re probably cheap Iranian counterfeits, not the original American Chia quality.”
Moving through the village, it’s impossible not to be moved by the smattering of derelict houses, which sit like rotten concrete stumps in the dusty earth. This is all that’s left of over 20 years of Saddam’s rule, and after 5 minutes of Allied air attacks.
As I stroll through the village, I find Asif, a small boy of no more than nine or ten. He’s dressed in traditional Iraqi clothing, which consists of a Stars and Stripes bandana, a Union Jack t-shirt and a pair of Nike sneakers.
“We love Britain and America,” he said. “We don’t mind that their planes flew over and destroyed our homes and knocked out our electricity supply. We don’t even care that they killed a few of our friends, because to be honest some of them were old and were probably due to die soon anyway.
“None of this matters to us, because we are free. We have so much freedom we don’t know what to do with it. I don’t eat much these days, but I’m free. Rejoice. I am free.”
Asif grabbed me by the hand and eagerly scampered down the street. With one arm eagerly outstretched, he pointed at a blackened pile of charred brick and stone.
“You see that, that used to be the school. All we ever did there was read and write all day. It was so boring. But two weeks ago one of the American flying missiles hit it and it went “bang”. Now look, it’s destroyed. So rather than read and write all day, me and my friends gamble on cock fights and fire guns at each other. That’s so much more enjoyable than school.”
I say my goodbyes to Asif and make way back to my luxury five star hotel on the edge of Fajula. As I stroll past the armed guard, I can’t help but take one last glance back at the town. Amid the acrid smell of smoke, and gunpowder, and the lingering odor of sweat, one thing stand out more than everything. The smell of freedom. It’s a smell that no liberal air freshener could get rid of, and no socialist stink bomb could sour. And I know deep down that the Iraqi people can smell it too.
Editor’s note: Geraldine Rivers is currently under investigation by this publication after it was revealed that she filed this report from a New Jersey Howard Johnson’s, rather than the besieged town of Fajula. In a related issue, Hollywood Hermit researchers are still trying to find “Fajula” on a map of Iraq.
Monday, February 23, 2004
Democrats seek restraining order against Nader
Senior Democrats are asking a Federal judge to impose a restraining order against Ralph Nader, claiming he is a danger to the electorate.
If successful, the order – thought to be the first of its kind – would effectively ban the liberal lunatic from going within 200 yards of any of America’s 205 million registered voters. In a further twist, Democratic strategists are seeking to extend the restraining order to apply to Nader’s photographic image, his image on video, the sound of his voice, and his written word. This would effectively limit the former Green Party leader to communicating with voters by Morse code, or by ancient Indian smoke signals.
A well-placed Democratic source said: “There’s no doubt in our mind that Nader handed Bush the election on a plate in 2000. In fact we personally hold Nader responsible for starting the Iraq war, cutting taxes for the rich and the bitterly cold winter this year.
“The principle behind the restraining order is simple. We believe that Ralph Nader has a harmful, and dangerous impact on America’s voters. When an average left-leaning voter sees Nader’s image, or hears his voice, he or she starts to dream of a society with better public services and an economy that serves working Americans, not corporate paymasters. That’s just nuts. There’s no way we can allow that to continue.”
While the restraining order is still going through the courts, Democrats have already planned out their ideal vision of a Nader-free election. The Hollywood Hermit has learned that Democratic planners are following the example of Ariel Sharon, who placed Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat under house arrest in 2003. In this scenario, Nader would be confined to a small room in his house for the duration of the election campaign.
If the restraining order is a success, Nader would effectively be banned from seeing, talking to, or contacting any American who is registered to vote. This would mean the selfish spoiler would be limited to mixing with children, prisoners, the homeless and the mentally ill.
The high-ranking Democratic source said: “Some people have claimed that we should ignore Nader and concentrate on running a campaign that captures the imagination and is strong enough to get a majority of the electorate on our side. But that’s just plain stupid. Nader attracts a critical three per cent of the vote across the nation, and what’s more if we lose he’s always a handy scapegoat to blame for our own failings.
“It’s unfortunate that things have got to this stage, but the bottom line is that we can’t trust the American people to vote in the way that we would like. With Nader out of the picture, we might just stand a chance of winning this year.”
A Nader spokeswoman said: “Our original concern was that Ralph would struggle to get on the ballot, but after hearing about this restraining order we’re worried that he might struggle to get out of the front door of his house. He’s stocking up with canned food and non-perishable items just to prepare for the worst case scenario. But looking on the bright side, maybe he’ll be able to attract the reclusive vote.”
Senior Democrats are asking a Federal judge to impose a restraining order against Ralph Nader, claiming he is a danger to the electorate.
If successful, the order – thought to be the first of its kind – would effectively ban the liberal lunatic from going within 200 yards of any of America’s 205 million registered voters. In a further twist, Democratic strategists are seeking to extend the restraining order to apply to Nader’s photographic image, his image on video, the sound of his voice, and his written word. This would effectively limit the former Green Party leader to communicating with voters by Morse code, or by ancient Indian smoke signals.
A well-placed Democratic source said: “There’s no doubt in our mind that Nader handed Bush the election on a plate in 2000. In fact we personally hold Nader responsible for starting the Iraq war, cutting taxes for the rich and the bitterly cold winter this year.
“The principle behind the restraining order is simple. We believe that Ralph Nader has a harmful, and dangerous impact on America’s voters. When an average left-leaning voter sees Nader’s image, or hears his voice, he or she starts to dream of a society with better public services and an economy that serves working Americans, not corporate paymasters. That’s just nuts. There’s no way we can allow that to continue.”
While the restraining order is still going through the courts, Democrats have already planned out their ideal vision of a Nader-free election. The Hollywood Hermit has learned that Democratic planners are following the example of Ariel Sharon, who placed Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat under house arrest in 2003. In this scenario, Nader would be confined to a small room in his house for the duration of the election campaign.
If the restraining order is a success, Nader would effectively be banned from seeing, talking to, or contacting any American who is registered to vote. This would mean the selfish spoiler would be limited to mixing with children, prisoners, the homeless and the mentally ill.
The high-ranking Democratic source said: “Some people have claimed that we should ignore Nader and concentrate on running a campaign that captures the imagination and is strong enough to get a majority of the electorate on our side. But that’s just plain stupid. Nader attracts a critical three per cent of the vote across the nation, and what’s more if we lose he’s always a handy scapegoat to blame for our own failings.
“It’s unfortunate that things have got to this stage, but the bottom line is that we can’t trust the American people to vote in the way that we would like. With Nader out of the picture, we might just stand a chance of winning this year.”
A Nader spokeswoman said: “Our original concern was that Ralph would struggle to get on the ballot, but after hearing about this restraining order we’re worried that he might struggle to get out of the front door of his house. He’s stocking up with canned food and non-perishable items just to prepare for the worst case scenario. But looking on the bright side, maybe he’ll be able to attract the reclusive vote.”
Sunday, February 22, 2004
The Spin-Out Zone
By Little Willie Reilly
Beyonce Knowles’ breasts. That’s the subject of this week’s memo.
A recent report by the politically independent Conservative Right Against Porn group – or CRAP for short – stated that the increasingly provocative behavior of mega-stars such as singer Beyonce, could be harming American children.
The report claims that stars such as Miss Knowles – who has become an international star on the back of wearing revealing outfits that expose ample quantities of flesh – are corrupting the morality of our kids and hurting society.
The Spin-Out Zone believes that stars like Beyonce have an obligation to clean up their act, and to stop cashing-in at every opportunity with blatant displays of commercialism. We have no time for people like this, and I’ve written a whole chapter on this subject in my new book, Spring Cleaning America, which is available for $29.99 from most good bookstores. It really is a great read and I’d encourage all Americans – young and old – to digest and absorb the advice I offer.
But back to the breasts. Miss Knowles has joined the likes of Ludacris, Nelly, Fifty Cent and MC Hammer, who have made careers by thrusting sexual imagery and foul language down the throats of our nation’s youth. The Spin Out Zone believes that these people are morally bankrupt individuals whose only goal is to peddle filth in order to make cold, hard cash. And in case I didn’t mention this earlier, my new novel Murder In The Newsroom is now available through our online store. Now I must say that this novel is not for kids. It contains some mature themes, but I know my adult readers will find it a highly engrossing read.
But enough of me. Unless it’s included in a work of fiction by a white, middle-aged news analyst, sex, violence and bad language has no place in this country. I believe that ordinary Americans – the folks – are going to rise up against this and make their voices known. Because remember, we’re just looking out for the little guys, the ordinary Americans. And do you know who’s going to suffer? The big corporations who back this kind of socially irresponsible material. Viacom, Hearst, ABC, NBC….these are the guys who are going to start losing money when the folks realize what’s going on. It’s about time that these giant corporations – with the notable exception of News Corporation, which has a justifiable reason for printing pictures of half-naked women in Britain’s largest newspaper The Sun – are bought to account. And the quicker the better.
The Spin Out Zone is sick of the bleeding-heart liberals like the ACLU and NPR who seem intent on drowning Americans in a torrent of sex, drugs, death, and evil. Ultimately, the only way to settle an argument or to find the truth is to ask yourself this question. What would Jesus think in this situation?
Now, I can’t speak on behalf on the big man but I’m going to try to anyway. I think – correction, I know – that the Great Messiah wouldn’t be loading up his CD stereo with songs about bitches and whores. And that’s just a fact.
So when Jesus is personally against something, you’ve got a big problem on your hands. And until these rappers can make it onto the Lord’s playlist, they don’t have any credibility in the eyes of all Americans up and down the country.
And that’s the memo.
Next Week: Homeless black guys are getting free food and shelter in Indiana. We tell you who’s paying for it.
And, lawmakers in Colorado want multi-millionaires like your humble columnist to pay more taxes to help the unemployed find work. As always, I’ll present both sides of the argument, before concluding that only my opinion is right.
Until next time.
By Little Willie Reilly
Beyonce Knowles’ breasts. That’s the subject of this week’s memo.
A recent report by the politically independent Conservative Right Against Porn group – or CRAP for short – stated that the increasingly provocative behavior of mega-stars such as singer Beyonce, could be harming American children.
The report claims that stars such as Miss Knowles – who has become an international star on the back of wearing revealing outfits that expose ample quantities of flesh – are corrupting the morality of our kids and hurting society.
The Spin-Out Zone believes that stars like Beyonce have an obligation to clean up their act, and to stop cashing-in at every opportunity with blatant displays of commercialism. We have no time for people like this, and I’ve written a whole chapter on this subject in my new book, Spring Cleaning America, which is available for $29.99 from most good bookstores. It really is a great read and I’d encourage all Americans – young and old – to digest and absorb the advice I offer.
But back to the breasts. Miss Knowles has joined the likes of Ludacris, Nelly, Fifty Cent and MC Hammer, who have made careers by thrusting sexual imagery and foul language down the throats of our nation’s youth. The Spin Out Zone believes that these people are morally bankrupt individuals whose only goal is to peddle filth in order to make cold, hard cash. And in case I didn’t mention this earlier, my new novel Murder In The Newsroom is now available through our online store. Now I must say that this novel is not for kids. It contains some mature themes, but I know my adult readers will find it a highly engrossing read.
But enough of me. Unless it’s included in a work of fiction by a white, middle-aged news analyst, sex, violence and bad language has no place in this country. I believe that ordinary Americans – the folks – are going to rise up against this and make their voices known. Because remember, we’re just looking out for the little guys, the ordinary Americans. And do you know who’s going to suffer? The big corporations who back this kind of socially irresponsible material. Viacom, Hearst, ABC, NBC….these are the guys who are going to start losing money when the folks realize what’s going on. It’s about time that these giant corporations – with the notable exception of News Corporation, which has a justifiable reason for printing pictures of half-naked women in Britain’s largest newspaper The Sun – are bought to account. And the quicker the better.
The Spin Out Zone is sick of the bleeding-heart liberals like the ACLU and NPR who seem intent on drowning Americans in a torrent of sex, drugs, death, and evil. Ultimately, the only way to settle an argument or to find the truth is to ask yourself this question. What would Jesus think in this situation?
Now, I can’t speak on behalf on the big man but I’m going to try to anyway. I think – correction, I know – that the Great Messiah wouldn’t be loading up his CD stereo with songs about bitches and whores. And that’s just a fact.
So when Jesus is personally against something, you’ve got a big problem on your hands. And until these rappers can make it onto the Lord’s playlist, they don’t have any credibility in the eyes of all Americans up and down the country.
And that’s the memo.
Next Week: Homeless black guys are getting free food and shelter in Indiana. We tell you who’s paying for it.
And, lawmakers in Colorado want multi-millionaires like your humble columnist to pay more taxes to help the unemployed find work. As always, I’ll present both sides of the argument, before concluding that only my opinion is right.
Until next time.
